Recovering after any divorce is a challenge. But if your marriage ended because of an affair, the road to emotional recovery may be one that seems overwhelming and unattainable. There’s no way around it, this can be tough. Recovery may take time, energy, and vulnerability—but it’s not impossible
Moving on may not be easy, but at Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, we are dedicated to providing you with information to help you cope with a divorce after infidelity. Here are some ways that can help you take back your life.
Accept What Has Happened
This is a tough one. When something has deeply hurt you and impacted your family, it can be difficult to accept. However, it’s important deal with your feelings to begin to move forward. You don’t have to force smiles or act like everything is okay. Taking time to grieve and heal is an important first step.
This won’t happen in a day—it’s an ongoing process that involves dealing with emotions you may not want to experience. But once you have, you can stop focusing on the past and begin to accept the change in your life.
Learn to Nurture Yourself
Coping with infidelity is not easy. In fact, it may be one of the most challenging things you go through and can leave you flooded with many emotions and self-doubt. In times like these, self-care and self-nurturing are valuable for your health, balance, and healing. By taking care of yourself, you will be able to feel satisfied with your current situation and focus on spending time with your family and building future relationships.
Here are practical and sustainable ways to focus on self-care:
- Meditate and/or pray daily
- Start a journal
- Read a book
- Register for a class or workshop that you are interested in
- Enjoy a nice meal at home or out with friends
- Take daily walks or runs
- Buy flowers for the house
- Take long baths and showers
- Practice deep breathing
- Surround yourself with positive people
- Use positive affirmations
- Do yoga and stretch in the morning
- Plan a vacation
- Watch a movie
Set Goals for Yourself
This a very much of a loss for you and for your family, and each person will have their own unique road to recovery. Understanding the stages that you may experience will help you.
- Discovery: When you learn that your spouse has been unfaithful.
- Reaction: You may experience emotions of shock, pain, anger, and confusion.
- Grief: Your ask yourself and your spouse why this happened and experience intense feelings of heartache as you process the reality of the situation.
- Clarity: The true reality of the situation begins to hit you; your spouse may begin telling you the complete truth about the affair and you develop greater perspective.
- Accepting: You begin forgiving the situation, cooperating with your spouse through family interactions, legal proceedings or agreements, and your stress levels begin to decrease.
- Moving On: You may recommit to your spouse or move forward separately in divorce, moving on with your life.
Once you have progressed with your recovery, you can begin to set small goals for yourself to move forward more productively.
Trust the Process
We cannot stress this enough: trust the process and you will get there with time. Looking at the entire future all at once can be daunting. But each individual step you take will help you get there, no matter how small they are. By accepting the situation and allowing yourself the process, you will be more ready to improve your life, both for yourself and for your children.
Helping You and Your Family Heal Together
There is nothing anyone can do to change what you have been through. But should you have any questions about dealing with this, our caring legal team is committed to providing you with information, resources and legal counsel on the issues involving infidelity and divorce.
Contact Wisselman, Harounian & Associates at (516) 406-8500 to get started with a free, personalized consultation today!