Recent Blog Posts

Divorce and the House

Derrick Rubin — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:27:00 GMT

What happens to the house, and the monies used to buy the house, in case of a divorce?

As 40% of all first marriages and 60% of all second marriages end in divorce - there is a 50/50 chance of the marriage failing. As such, it is worthwhile to spend a few minutes considering how best to protect your largest asset, the house.

Marriage is an economic partnership. Normally any asset acquired during the marriage, measured from the day you get married until the day one party files a Summons for Divorce, is considered marital property. In a divorce the Supreme Court Judge will equitably distribute marital property.

Property which the Court does not distribute to the other spouse is called separate property. Separate property is your monies that you had prior to the marriage, which you maintained in an account solely in your name. Separate property is also monies you received from an inheritance or gifts solely to you.

In the context of purchasing a home, sometimes the husband or wife will use their own separate savings to purchase the house. Sometimes, a parent of the husband or wife will gift or loan money to you to buy the home. Normally it is a gift if the marriage works out. If not, the parents call it a loan and want to be repaid.

It is very important to paper trail and trace these funds, the separate property, family gifts (which converted to a family loan), in case there is a divorce. When the house is sold in the divorce action, the separate property, if properly documented, will return to the party who made that contribution.

In a divorce, a number of issues concern the house such as: 1) Who gets to live there; 2) Who has to pay the mortgage; 3) When will the house be sold so that each party can receive his/her equity from the house?

With respect to who can live there during the divorce - the simple answer is both parties have a right to live there. Only if a Court issues an order awarding one party sole and exclusive possession or if a temporary order of protection is issued directing one party to stay from the house, does one spouse get to live in the house alone.

With respect to paying the mortgage, history normally dictates the future. If the husband was paying it before the divorce, the court will want him to continue to pay it, to preserve the marital asset, before the house is sold. With the new temporary maintenance statute enacted last year, the monied spouse may be the party ordered to pay the mortgage.

With respect to when the house is sold, that is based upon a number of variables including: a) how long you have owned the house; b) whether there are any children and the ages of the children.

If you buy the house, normally title is in husband and wife, tenants by the entireties. You could have title just as joint tenants. You may, due to one party's credit rating not being so great, buy the house in only one person's name. What happens if the house is solely in the wife's name and the parties then get divorced? Has the husband lost the house? Thankfully no. New York State does not look just at the title of the house, but looks at when the house was purchased.

If the house was purchased after the parties were married, and marital funds were used to buy the house, the house is marital property and each party has an equitable interest in the property.

Complimentary Same Sex Couples Legal Clinic

Long Island Divorce Attorney — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:22:00 GMT

In light of President Obama's recent support of same-sex marriages, our firm would like to bring to your attention the same-sex couples clinic that we will be hosting on Wednesday, June 13^th. Geared towards helping the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community learn more about their legal marital rights and responsibilities, the meeting will be held at 6 p.m. at our Great Neck office.

Same-sex marriages carry a number of implications, including the way that spousal benefits, prenuptial agreements, adoptions, and healthcare proxies will be awarded. Therefore, if you stand to be affected in any way by the potential changes brought about my President Obama's newest initiative you should absolutely take advantage of our clinic.

At the meeting you will have the opportunity to learn more about any and all relevant legal information pertaining to your relationship, whether you are part of a couple or a marriage. How your assets and benefits can be protected as well as how the wellbeing of your children will be maintained will be addressed at this meeting, and we will also be available to answer any additional questions you may have regarding the matter.

Whether or not you have attended past clinic sessions, we encourage you to make an appearance at our upcoming one. By listening to what a Long Island, NY divorce lawyer at our firm has to say you could learn a great deal about your rights and the duties owed to you as one half of a same-sex couple. You can also call our office today to schedule a free consultation to discuss your family law case at a time that is convenient for you. Contact a Long Island divorce attorney at our office to learn more about our services, including the same-sex clinic we are holding in one month from now.

Can a Parent Sue Another Parent for Parental Alienation?

Jordan Trager — Thu, 03 May 2012 15:32:00 GMT

Can a parent sue another parent for monetary damages, when parental alienation is taking place, and the relief granted by the divorce or family court is inadequate to stop it?

In 2009, when a father believed that he was being alienated from his children by the mother, he attempted to sue her for 1.5 million dollars, allegedly for the value of a kidney he had donated to her during the marriage (Batista v. Batista). In 2010, a father in New Jersey sought to bring a lawsuit against the mother for parental alienation, arguing that she had engaged in "intentional infliction of emotional distress" against him (Segal v. Lynch). In both of these cases, the courts refused to hear these civil lawsuits. In the New Jersey case, the Court's reasoning was that such a lawsuit would not be in the "best interests" of the children.

So far, the best remedies available to parents in New York State for extreme parental alienation are holding an alienating parent in contempt of court or seeking a change of custody. Unfortunately for parents who have been wrongfully alienated from their children, this can be a long, tedious and expensive process.

Is There a Right To Contest the Grounds for Divorce?

Derrick Rubin — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:15:00 GMT

In New York State no fault divorce became effective on October 12, 2010. The matrimonial legislation requires that one party declare the marriage has been irretrievably broken for a period of six months and the marriage may then be dissolved.

Before the divorce can be granted, all other issues of the marriage, such as custody, visitation and equitable distribution must be resolved.

The new statute is controversial in that Supreme Court trial level courts are split whether a plaintiff's self serving declaration about his or her state of mind is all that is required to terminate the marriage. The question is whether a divorce action based upon irretrievable breakdown can be opposed.

A survey of different courts in different counties of our state indicates that Judges have different opinions if the marriage can be terminated by one person's statement, without the offering of any proof to evidence the breakdown.

In Nassau County, Justices Falanga (A.C v. D.R. 3/28/11), Bruno (Townes v. Coker 2/8/12) and Palmieri (Vahey v. Vahey 3/3/12) have all agreed that the cause of action for divorce is established by one person's statement and the other party does not have a right to oppose it.

In Monroe County Justice Dollinger (Palermo v. Palermo 10/20/11) also held there is no defense to a claim that the marriage has been irretrievable broken.

The following Courts and Justices though have a different opinion and have held that the defendant has a right to put forth a defense to the plaintiff's claim that the marriage is irretrievable broken:

a) Suffolk County Acting Supreme Court Justice Quinn in Sorrentino v. Sorrentino (1/12/12); b) Essex County Justice Muller in Strack v. Strack (2/3/11);

c) Dutchess County Justice Wood in Schiffer v. Schiffer (9/30/11); and

d) Queens County, Justice Jackman-Brown.

Until such time as the Appellate Courts rule on this matter will we then be able to definitely determine if New York State truly is a no-fault divorce state or if a defendant has the right to oppose being divorced solely on a plaintiff's unsupported affidavit.

How Do I Seek Immediate Relief From the Court?

Eyal Talassazan — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 16:35:00 GMT

There may come a time during your divorce action that you are compelled to seek immediate relief from the Court. As an example, you sold the marital home and are concerned that your spouse will commandeer the proceeds of the sale after closing and do as he pleases with the money. Or your spouse is in the process of cleaning out the marital joint account.

In these types of situations, the Court must intervene by issuing a court order on the spot. How can this be accomplished? Your experience thus far with the divorce process is that things happen very slowly because the Court is inundated with cases and cannot give your case the attention it requires.

Your remedy is to ask your attorney to file an Order to Show Cause which contains temporary restraining orders, or injunctive relief. The terms are interchangeable. An order to show cause is no different than filing a motion, except you may address certain issues with the Court as soon as the order to show cause is filed. On the other hand, you do not have the option of seeking immediate relief from the court when you file a motion, you must wait until the motion is fully briefed and decided. So you file the order to show cause and ask for immediate relief, and then, just like a motion, you wait for the court to rule on the relief requested.

A temporary restraining order is a paragraph contained in the order to show cause that directs your spouse to refrain from pilfering the proceeds of the sale or restrains your spouse from secreting funds out of your marital joint bank account. So if the Judge signs the Order to Show Cause and does not cross out the paragraph containing the language restraining your spouse from doing something, the language is deemed a court order and disobeying the court order is contempt of court, punishable by up to six months in prison.

An example of a temporary restraining order contained in an order to show cause is as follows:

"ORDERED, that pending the hearing and determination of this application and further order of this Court, any and all net proceeds realized from the closing scheduled for June 21, 2012 of the sale of the marital residence located at 1 Doe Street, Hicksville, New York shall be given to Defendant's attorney and held in Defendant's attorney's escrow account pending further Order of the Court; and it is further..."

As the above illustrates, you can seek direction from the Court on any issue as soon as you file the Order to Show Cause. Please note that prior to filing an order to show cause seeking injunctive relief in the Supreme or County Court, you must give opposing counsel 24 hours advance notice of your intention to file an order to show cause seeking injunctive relief. This is accomplished by sending a letter to opposing counsel stating the following:

"Please be advised that I will be appearing before Justice Doe at the Nassau County Supreme Court on June 20, 2012 to file an Order to Show Cause seeking injunctive relief".

When Does Child Support Stop in New York?

Sharyn O'Mara — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 18:25:00 GMT

A question our attorneys are often asked is "When can I stop paying child support in New York?" or they are asked "When will my child support payments stop?"

Unless there is an agreement that states otherwise, in New York, child support must be paid until the child reaches the age of 21, assuming the child is still living at home with a parent, or attending college full time. That sometimes brings a follow up question "What happens if the young adult is still in college after they turn 21?" The answer remains the same in this situation: Unless the parents have pre-agreed to something different, child support stops at the age of 21. To cover this dilemma, it can be put in the legal separation or divorce agreement that child support will be paid for until the age of 22 (or whatever is agreed on) if the child is still in college full time. In addition to child support, both parties must contribute to the cost of college tuition. A "SUNY cap" is usually designated as the amount that the parents are obligated to contribute to, even if a child opts for a more expensive school. This is yet another incentive for students to stick with a four year college plan or they may find themselves with some more student loans than they had expected.

Of course, many parents still help their children out with college payments and support (and car payments, and cell phone bills, etc.) once their legal obligations ends, but this would be considered voluntary support. It would be helping to "support" a young adult son or daughter in a different way. Of course, children who are still in college or grad school are all for that.

The Autistic Spectrum and Custody Cases

Jordan Trager — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 17:01:00 GMT

An increasing number of custody and family court proceedings involve children who have been diagnosed with autism, or a related disorder, such as Pervasive Development Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified (P.D.D.-N.O.S). or Asperger's syndrome. Frequently, children with either autism or a related disorder will receive one or more services from infancy after a diagnosis has been made. These services may include behavioral therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy, feeding therapy, and the like. In New York State, those services are typically provided in the child's home until his or her 3^rd birthday. Thereafter, the child will be re-evaluated, given an I.E.P. (Individualized Educational Program) by the school district, and further services will be provided as needed.

Exactly how can these diagnoses, and the services these children receive, affect the outcome of a custody or family court case? As in all custody and family court cases, the primary consideration of the court will be the best interests of the child. The court will look to the parent who is best able to provide those services to the child as a strong indication of who should be awarded custody.

In some cases, the non-custodial parent may be asked to observe and participate in the child's therapy sessions as a condition of visitation. However, in every case it will be up to the court to weigh the child's best interests with the rights of the non-custodial parent to visitation and parenting time with the child.

Divorced Dads and Support Groups

Mel Feit — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:13:00 GMT

Why support groups work and the important lesson they teach us about coping with divorce. The lesson that comes out of the support group is probably not what you think it is.

My counseling practice is devoted to helping individuals, mostly men and their families. For quite a period of time, though, I also ran support groups for men coping with the effects of divorce.

Each of my groups had around ten participants. I insisted on only two rules. The first was confidentiality within the group (what's said in this room stays in this room). The second rule was No Personal Attack. I permitted criticism of one man by another only if it was delivered helpfully and with encouragement. Otherwise I ruled it out of order. As a result, the support groups became safe and special places where men felt free to express embarrassing feelings and unpopular ideas. Friendships were formed. People cared about each other. The sessions were often emotionally and intellectually intense.

I came to believe that there were sometimes two kinds of men enrolled in my groups. The first, I'll call him "Mr. A," was very forthcoming about the details of his divorce. He would put the nasty particulars of his failed marriage on the table for the entire group to dissect and analyze. He was emotionally available and articulate. He was eager for help and support.

I was always inspired by the process: Ten men with different occupations, of diverse cultural backgrounds and political philosophies, would combine their life experiences and bring intellectual firepower to bear on helping one man solve his problems. Creative ideas would fly across the room, some of them quite original and constructive. And because "Mr. A" was open to these ideas, he seemed to get the maximum benefit from the support group.

And then there was "Mr. B." While actively participating in the group by trying mightily to help others, Mr. B was reluctant to reveal much of himself. I did my best to pry it out of him but Mr. B seemed uncomfortable with being the center of the group's attention. He preferred to focus on everyone else. I remember thinking that Mr. B was missing out on the whole point of being in a support group, the receiving of support. Mr. A was getting most of the help.

Sometimes there was an unusual and surprising dynamic with "Mr. A" and "Mr. B". Regrettably, despite the advice the Mr. A's were receiving, they didn't make much personal progress. Week after week, the Mr. A's would report the same problems they had the week before. The group would become frustrated. Time would go by and not much would improve for the Mr. A's.

The Mr. B's, though, mysteriously, and in a way that seemed to mock the very concept of a support group, would resolve their most difficult issues, apparently on their own. Court cases would be won, communication with their ex-wives would improve, relationships with their children would get better. I was happy for the Mr. B's but confess to feeling challenged by their successes. Why were the men receiving the least support succeeding the most?

Eventually, I figured it out. Here's my explanation: By concentrating on people with problems similar to his, Mr. B was actually getting a fresh perspective on his own issues. He was able to see and understand the mistakes the other men were making. By stepping out of his own misery to help others, Mr. B was able to better understand why he was having difficulties. By dispassionately analyzing the predicaments of others, he found an objectivity that allowed him to view his own problems within a larger social context. He gained creative and critical awareness of his own issues. He got smarter.

All those hours in which Mr. B was helping Mr. A, the brain of Mr. B must have been working silently, behind the scenes, making comparisons and connections and finding solutions. Perhaps by being too self-absorbed, Mr. A never got the chance to do that.

Whatever the psychological reasons, it may be that the old adage is true: It really is better to give than to receive. The best way to help yourself, it turns out, can be to help others.

--- Blog Author Mel Feit is a NY Fathers' Rights Counselor

Men and Divorce: A Perspective from a Men's Rights Counselor

Mel Feit — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 17:18:00 GMT

The most critical component of a successful divorce is also the one thing many men struggle with the most.

At the risk of stating the obvious, divorce can be horrendous. A marriage seldom falls apart gracefully. The one thing in this world that should never end, eternal love, often ends with a fury.

The contentiousness of divorce makes the pain of separation all the more unbearable. In the midst of grief and despair, when a person's thinking is muddled and confused, he may find himself in a legal setting that requires him to think and act with precision. At this low point in his life, when he is most in need of compassion and sympathy, he may be greeted by a heavy-handed judiciary that might even treat him as if he were a criminal.

Over the years, I have counseled thousands of men trying to get through this ordeal. The initial contact with me is usually a phone call in which a man introduces himself by describing the shocking events leading up to his divorce. Since my preferred style of counseling is to start in the present and then work my way back, I generally interrupt the recitation of prior events with a simple, "What is happening right now?"

"Okay, well, three years ago she left with the kids when I was at work and I had no idea where they were…"

It usually takes me several tries before I can get an answer to my question. "What is happening right now," is a direct question in search of a direct answer, grounded in the present. It should be a fairly simple question to answer but it turns out it almost never is. The answers I receive are usually convoluted and tortured, tangled up with a thousand emotional insults from the past.

Maybe the present is just too painful, so the mind won't allow these men to go there. Maybe the past is so confusing that the mind replays historical events, over and over, hoping to find some comprehension or peace that never comes. Maybe unraveling a marriage is simply too traumatic. I don't exactly know why divorcing men have such difficulty focusing their thoughts, but this much I do know:

If you want your lawyer and the judge and the children's lawyer and the forensic psychologist and everyone else to understand what is most important about your divorce, you have to tell them. You have to tell them without the clutter. If you are distracted, they will be, too.

I have come to believe that in every person's divorce there is an essential story. It is usually a story about how unresolved conflicts in the marriage shape and drive the divorce. Divorce stories may be similar but each person's story is also unique. And each story, however complicated and messy and intricate, can be summed up in a single paragraph, without losing any of the essential elements. It may seem impossible to do that but, actually, the doing of it will focus your attention on what matters most.

And so, if you are entering a divorce, I suggest that you take the time to understand your essential story and write it down in one paragraph, a few carefully worded sentences. Focus.

Read your paragraph and come to an appreciation of what is truly important about your story, the important details you want everyone to know, immediately, without distraction. Focus.

Practice telling your story to others. You don't need to become robotic. You should tell your story with conviction and with passion but stay on message. Focus.

This is the technique that I often use with my own clients. After I spend a couple of hours with a client, I will usually write down in one paragraph my understanding of his essential story and read it to him. Typically, a client will react with some amazement. "Wow! That is exactly what has been happening."

And then, because I want to be sure that my client completely understands his divorce story and because I know how important it will be for him to be able to tell this new, focused version to others, I will ask him to repeat it to me. "Please repeat your story to me, in your own words," I will say.

"Oh, I think I forgot to mention that last year at Thanksgiving my ex-wife dropped off our children several hours late and the kids missed out on dinner with the rest of my family…"

The most critical component of a successful divorce is also the one thing many men struggle with the most. Focus. Focus. Focus.

MEL FEIT
Telephone: 631-476-2115
e-mail: mel@nationalcenterformen.org
www.nationalcenterformen.org

Mel Feit currently runs the counseling program of The National Center For Men, a progressive men's rights organization. As a counselor to men and their families, Mel helps his clients find practical solutions to problems arising from difficult divorce, family violence, employment discrimination or forced fatherhood. Some men explore issues more generally with Mel, talking about their relationships with women or their concerns over male gender role restrictions. Counseling is always given from a caring, informed and uniquely male-positive perspective.

As an advocate of men's equality, Mel has publicly addressed all the important gender controversies of the day, no matter how provocative, including reproductive choice, sexual harassment, domestic violence, parental alienation syndrome, rape, divorce and child custody, feminism, homeless vets, circumcision, pornography… Radio and TV talk show producers and print journalists have consistently gone to Mel as the nation's leading authority on men's issues.

National Child-Centered Divorce Month

Sharyn O'Mara — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:33:00 GMT

National Child-Centered Divorce Month used to be in July. It has been expanded to International Child-Centered Divorce Month and the month was changed to January. January is the month that has the highest divorce actions started so it makes sense to make this change. Some people come to our office and say divorce is their New Years resolution, some people say they hoped the holidays would be better but they weren't, and some people say they were just too busy over the holidays to add one more thing to the mix. Whatever the reason, the monthly cycle shows that initiation of divorce proceedings are busiest during the month of January every year.

National Child-Centered Divorce Month was started by Rosalind Sedacca, a certified corporate trainer and a divorced mom who wanted to emphasize the importance of parents and professionals remembering the children and the challenges they face when their parents divorce and their world suddenly changes. The National Child-Centered Divorce Month was a reminder to ask the question we need to keep asking ourselves which is "What is in the best interests of the child?"

A sign outside our local church for the last few weeks says….."May your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions." Here's a New Year's thought to leave you with. Hopefully this year resolutions will last longer and troubles will be even shorter….for everyone!

Fortunately for Kim Kardashian, she is not a resident of New York

Lloyd Rosen — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:29:00 GMT

As most have heard by now, Kim Kardashian, a member of the growing sorority of celebutantes (those who are famous for being famous), has filed for divorce only 72 days after a very public and costly (estimates have placed it at $10 million) wedding. She filed on October 31, 2011, citing "irreconcilable differences". Fortunately for her, she does not live in New York, or she would be told, "Sorry, it's too soon for you to seek a divorce!". Barely more than one year ago, in October, 2010, New York joined the rest of the country in providing its citizens the ability to seek a divorce by alleging a "no fault" ground. However, New York's "no fault" divorce differs from that in California in a very significant way in circumstances such as Kim Kardashian's. While California, and most other states, allow the filing of a divorce on the basis of "irreconcilable differences", New York's newly adopted "no fault" law provides for a divorce where one party alleges an "irretrievable breakdown" of the marriage for a "period of six months or more". Kim made it just over two months. It would therefore have been impossible for her to seek a "no fault" divorce in New York without waiting another four months. Her only alternative, were she a resident of New York, would have been to allege a "fault" divorce, such as cruel and inhuman treatment or adultery. Even the ground of abandonment would not have worked because there is a one-year period that must pass between the abandonment and the commencement of the divorce proceeding. Therefore, while New York has taken some great strides with its passage of the "no fault" divorce in October, 2010, the wording of the law still leaves some in a "marital purgatory" if they wish to seek a "no fault" divorce and have not put sufficient time into their marriage.

Special Client Memories

Sharyn O'Mara — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:42:00 GMT

We have represented many, many clients over time, and every year there are certain ones that stay with you. Sometimes it is because they were incredibly kind or unbelievably wronged and we were so gratified to have helped them. Some of them stand out because they are neighbors, or because of their wealth, or their positive attitude through such a difficult time. One client we will all remember brought cakes and cookies each time he came. Another client brought huge vegetables from his garden and handed them to us with love. Sometimes they bring nothing other than their appreciation, and they stand out in our memories for their humility. It is like I imagine it would be with a long time teacher: memories of some students blur together as the years pass since they were students, but several others will always stand out in our mind.

Jackie Harounian is working on a case right now that we know will be one of those that will remain in our minds and out hearts for a long time. Why? The client is serving our country, stationed in Georgia an d involved in a child support matter. It is a pro bono case we took on through the ABA Pro Bono Military Project , and well worth it for so many reasons. While he is serving in the military and going through a child support dispute , at least he doesn't have to worry about how he will pay his legal bills . And further, Jackie will provide him with all of her knowledge and compassion to help him through this difficult time. Everyone gives back in different ways and feeling good about it is part of the doing-good package. With this case, we feel good because we are doing something helpful and this particular person will be one of those that will really stand out in our memories and bring a smile to our faces.

National Coming Out Day - October 11, 2011

Sharyn O'Mara — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:57:00 GMT

I love when it becomes a small world. I love when I run into someone in an unexpected place or it turns out someone I know is friends with someone else I know. Today it is a small world for me.

This morning I learned that Adelphi University is celebrating National Coming Out Day because I am teaching an Intro to Public Relations class there this semester. The school is encouraging all students, faculty, staff and administrators to show their support and acceptance of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex and Ally members of the Adelphi Community by wearing jeans to class or work on Tuesday October 11th. If people usually wear jeans to campus and want to more visibly show their support, it is suggested they wear a shirt with "rainbow" colors too.

This afternoon I switched hats and went to my PR Director position at the matrimonial and family law firm of Wisselman, Harounian & Associates, P.C. We are now more involved in same-sex couples family law due to the passage of the NY Marriage Equality Act allowing same-sex couples to legally join "Club Wed". While some of the law is the same as for heterosexual couples, there are still many significant differences since the federal government does not yet recognize same-sex marriages.

Our law firm exhibited at the Long Island GLBT Network Services Expo this Sunday October 2^nd. It was a business-to-consumer trade-show event with an entirely new section devoted to wedding services. Our attorneys are running a same-sex legal clinic, and about 25 attendees came to the first meeting. A second meeting will be held on October 12, covering health and employment rights and benefits as well as other issues of concern for same-sex couples.

I don't teach on Tuesdays so I won't be at Adelphi that day. I am thinking about wearing jeans to the law firm on Tuesday, October 11^th. After all, how often do we get to show support for the gay community and come to work in weekend clothes?

How Is It Possible That a Man Is Responsible as a Child's Father Even When Their DNA Is Not a Match?

Randall Malone — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 17:57:00 GMT

Usually when a mother wants a court to determine paternity so she can collect child support, the court will order a DNA test. However, even if the DNA testing says NO, the courts can say YES! In some cases, if the man has developed a close relationship with the child signifying him as the child's "Dad", the court can refuse to order DNA testing or refuse to consider the evidence of a DNA test. In these cases, the courts can decide that it is in the best interest of the child to determine that the man involved is the child'slegal father, despite DNA test results.

The legal principle at work here is known as "equitable estoppel" which essentially means it would be unfair to the child to raise that child who has known one man to be his father for a significant period in his life, and then substitute a different father.

Further, if the "Dad" (who treated the child as his own) had been married to the child's mother, the courts will treat this as an additional factor to find it in the best interests of the child to refuse to allow or recognize DNA testing that would identify a different father. This additional factor is called "presumption of legitimacy".

For those who are uncertain of their biological paternity, they must consider what their long term goals are with regard to their relationship with the child. They can put any doubts aside and initiate a parental relationship with the child (which is to opt for the parental relationship) or insist on DNA testing before beginning a parental relationship. Either way protects the best interest of the child, which is the courts primary concern.

SAME-SEX COUPLES GROUP LAUCHES

Sharyn O'Mara — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:53:00 GMT

SAME-SEX COUPLES GROUP LAUNCHES

Tonight attorneys Lauren Chartan and Jordan Trager are holding the first meeting on LEGAL ISSUES FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES at our office. Thanks to a wonderful article in Newsday, we expect to put a few extra chairs in our conference room tonight and we are more than happy to do so.

Couples are invited to a complimentary meeting to get legal information, ask questions and discuss the new rights and responsibilities that the NY same-sex marriage law has brought forth.

While there was lots of celebrating when the law passed last month, now the discussion turns to what this actually means from a legal perspective. There is sure to be interesting discussion about how people can best protect themselves, their family and their assets as they contemplate marriage, since New York state's benefits and rights that come with a same-sex marriage is not universally recognized, and the validity of New York State same-sex marriages continue to be challenged by a number of states and the Federal government.

We look forward to helping those traveling down this uncharted path in our group tonight.